Trauma
by Flicker's Owner
Summary: You ran from the past, yet the past still haunts you. Once one memory triggers it, there's no escape. Sonic's dilemma on Sonamy


Um...no...i'm not that proud of this pic. Too many OOC too many driven emotions. The story of Sonic's childhood was totally bad idea. But anyhow it's one of my oldest fic and I'll give my first shot...

Set in any plot of the Sega based, perhaps ignoring Shadow the hedgehog's game plot.

* * *

_You ran, challenging the blowing wind, and lights flashing besides you...felt free… _

Sonic's Point of View

Amy Rose, whom as well known as the pink cheerful hedgehog. She's lying on the hospital now. She was injured badly... No, no not dead, she's just unconsciousness for few days. This happened about last week. When Eggman's every day's miscellaneous someway almost eat her life. I managed to save her… as always.

The only problem with this 'routine' rescuing is different. So different that something changed the part of my personalities. I become some sort of… what do ya call that? O yeah, depressed…freaky, huh? The easy going Sonic the hedgehog, becomes depressed? But that ain't over yet.

After her rescuing, my friends began aware my difference. Sure, I'm usually some sort of lone wolf. But thing's gone worse when I had driven out of the wall _almost _lashing Tails. Poor lil' bro, he's scared to death by that incident. Now things are getting serious when that 'knuckle-head' visit me to talk about it.

"Amy is going to be fine, Sonic." He managed to state it clear.

"Heck, I heard that already!"

Knuckles shook his head obviously not believing me while Tail's blue eyes fearfully look at me.

"Look... bro, I'm sorry. But I told you million times it's got nothing to do with Amy."

"I forgive you. It's just… I'm worried."

Few hours later, I find my self in the middle Mystic Jungle. I ran from them, ran from my friends, and ran away from fact... (Basically I like to run away from everything, and ya know that already) But it does really have _nothing_ to do with Amy. And Knuckles still stubbornly thought this has something to do with her.

Well, fine! Knuckles can use his theory as long as he didn't know what the real truth behind when I saved her. And, I made that clear that it has nothing to do with it. He's such a gullible as always.

At least, this was the best conclusion I could think of. As long as I stay away from my friends, I could also avoid from hurting anybody as well. I don't like my dramatic change, and I don't like to hurt my friends.

"Yo, Faker!!"

…On second thought I might make exception for this guy.

But darn he's on luck coz I'm not in the mood of fighting now, so I just give him the dead look. Can't he see that I am annoyed? This 'hedgehog' or Shadow the hedgehog to be exact, walking to get near me.

"You haven't been yourself these days do you? Lashing on of your friends since Amy's on the hospital."

Man, is this hedgehog dumb or what? "What do you think?!! Knuckles said that, didn't he?"

"No."

"Tails…?"

"Neither." He sits to the ground, facing me. I forget that I was also on a sitting position.

"Look whoever told ya, it still have nothing to do with Amy okay?"

He nods, a weird occasion. Since when did he starting to agree with me?

"I believe you. But it does have something to do when you're _rescuing_ her didn't you?"

BUM!!

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOW THAT??"

"Because I'm the ultimate life form, I know everything." I gave him a quizzical look. He smirked, "Just joking… I was there, you idiot."

I look up to the sky, regaining my memory. Shadow was there but my problem blocked my view that day. Not the mention He was the one who led me to the nearest hospital since I turn into zombie like.

"You are there because you want to protect Amy." I grumbled.

"What can I say? She's awefully remind me of Maria. Now, tell me what happen."

"IT'S NOTHING!!"

"You ain't fooling me, Faker. I know you very well."

"Uh…" I shift my eyes, "Why should I tell you?"

""You've got no one to tell."

"Fine… Promise me not to tell every one? The prize… I'm gonna put you to the nearest ashtray!!"

"Yeah, yeah…" he waved his hands but then give me the concern look I hardly see.

I cleared my throat uncomfortable. I never talked to someone about my problem. Then again this resemble of mine will never leave me until I'm done. At first I tried my best to cover my sensitive site. Why does he care? He'll take anything he need and runs of. However this darn emotional thing didn't turn out like my plan…

"Sonic…" his red eyes twitching after he listened to my story, "It's just a _Cardiopulmonary resuscitation_. You'd been trough these many days just thinking about it?"

I can't believe I tell him!! Oh well, see happens when curious kills hedgehog? Since it's so embarrassing, I quickly cover my face.

"I know it's just…"

"It's a logical action. Like it or not, you would give that 'kiss' of life in order to save her."

I was a bit confused when Shadow supports my action instead makes fun of me.

"Shadow…It-i… Do you know what it's like to have the first marshmallow?"

"…" My head instantly turn to him. He gave a puzzled look, "What's a marshmallow?"

"Uh…the first snowflake?"

"…"

I begin to nervous. How long had Shadow been in the space and upshots him to have no knowledge of this earth? "…first birthday cake…?"

"That… I know."

My eyes blinked. That question was supposes to be a mindless shot. Who ever thought it would work?

"Really?"

He nodded, "Maria made it. She wasn't a good cooker the kitchen ended up ruined, but it's nice."

"Oh…" I found myself smiled weakly between guilt and understanding. Sometimes… even though his life is miserable, he has a beautiful memory. He chuckled slightly mesmerizing it.

"And it feels like, no matter how bad situation are. There are the days when everyone care for you even it's just for one day. It's like… you lucky to be born in here."

He nods to understand every word I said, although it suddenly turns into quizzical again, "Is it what it felt like the first kiss?"

I cursed to myself, "No… I mean almost... Wait no, I mean yes but…AAARRRGGH!!!"

I sigh, giving up my cover. I never told my past to anyone before. Yes, except Tails that is, but my little bro is too young to understand my problem.

"Shadow I… never had a normal child hood…"

He then lowered his eyes as if I told him a dumb fact. "I was an experiment, faker."

"Well at least you had Maria… At least, you have a _mother_ figure." He didn't reply as I continue my story staring blankly, "Strange… how I still remember the past. I suppose to forget that… I suppose to not live the past… Mom told me that…"

Red eyes curiously watched me (okay, that's a bit freaky!). Shadow the hedgehog, had finally opened my mask, "The rules are… every kid has a Dad, I have none. Or I don't remember if I had one, Mom never mention about him. I remember when Mom usually sat on a sofa and drink… brandy, whisky…stuff I guess. Sometimes I forgot that I was her personal bartender. I open the bottle and pour it to her glass.

"She always stroked my quills, sang me a lullaby and telling me that I'm the only thing she had. But we don't have that ritual on weekend. On weekend she's always drunk. She became furious and throwing stuff and such. She never hurt me, though always leaving on weekend. I always cry each time she went.

"But my Mom always back in next day or two, feeling extremely tired. I didn't care. As long as she came back I'm happy. One day she had gone too far. We ended up being depart because of the social workers.

"At some day I visited her on the rehabilitation. It ended up at the same scenario. Mom came as a crazy woman who rain curses to everybody. But when our eyes met, she became my mom who usually stroke my quills and sang me a lullaby. That only last for a moment when demons took her again.

"Since then I live in a foster… two or three times actually. It's a hell there, nobody wanted me. Things gone worse when I heard her suicide. I didn't believe them. They said get on with it… Oh God, how many curses I said? I blame instantly to separating us. She needs me. I'm the only thing in this world and they took me away from her. But they…said…"

I felt hot tears on my cheek as my emotion become irritate. I hate it when I'm weak. I hate it to remember. I want to scream but my voice is caught on my throat. Shadow however, patted my shoulder in understand.

"I am an unplanned child. My Mom was a whore and she didn't want me. I scream manically refused to believe. Why did they say that? My Mom _loves_ me!! She never hurt me!!

"So I ran… I ran from the foster… I ran from everything. That's when I found my unknown speed ability. My Mom used drink to get away from the horrible past. I have a better way…by running. You ran, challenging the blowing wind, and lights flashing besides you. I felt free…

"The rest… Well, I fought at a young age when Eggman shows up. Then adopt Tails, we share the same similarities; we're orphans and foster haters. I also found that Knuckles. He was worse since he's the last of his kind. That knuckle-head was a loner but he won't admit it.

"In the beginning I thought I finally have a purpose. I have an unlikely job as a hero, a brother to take care, and a best friend who can be my deadly rival at the same time."

"What do you think I was? I thought I was your rival." Shadow suddenly asked.

"Yeah, I have two rivals. But you would be more like my fanatical older brother."

"Why older?"

"Cause, you seem to be wiser than I am. Plus, you're 50 aged." I grinned and he just gives me a wry smile.

"That's what I believe until… Amy came… The way we met it was pretty obvious. I saved her life from Metal Sonic and she's another orphan. I thought, she would be a same sibling I had to take care of…or so as I thought…

"The way she runs to me, obsession, desire, and pleasure. She kept running and dreaming about me. At the start it was annoying to me. Knowing that it was some stupid crush, and… Yes, if you can see it I always running from her. You think that stops there? Heck, that's when you are wrong,

"Day by day she keeps running to me routinely. For the first time after my Mom, some girl actually _wants_ me. Someone actually _needed_ me that desperately. I always surprised when she gives anything to me. Honestly, no girl would do that. And when I run, I expect from this treatment to wash away those silly event. Except this time however…it won't come out.

"I then asked myself, why? Why does it have to be me? Who would leave a girl in arms of bad guys? Anybody would save her. Besides, she can find better person than I am. No one wanted me then she came out of nowhere? But her actions were different and more than repay for her rescuing. She won't give up that's when I was afraid."

"You're not making sense, Faker."

I mumbled, "I'm not done yet."

"I let you know, my weakness is water. To tell the truth I can't swim. Wait… Don't use that technique when we're fighting again. Well, it was another fight with Eggman. Been there done that. I took the victory as always. Then again, it's not the quiet victory as it seemed. I had the most fear thing in the world!"

"Water…?"

"The flu, dude…!! The flu…!"

"I thought you said water."

"I was drowned into sea and yes, it was water. And then I caught the flu!"

Shadow rolls his eyes, "Then…?"

"Amy took care of me. I was so frustrated back to Eggman back then I don't pay much attention to her. It was when I slept on her sofa. Something I wouldn't expect, she stroked my quills…sang me a lullaby. When I looked up…my Mom was there. She didn't go anywhere. She was there all the time…

"That's when I am terrified. What if she didn't want me? What if she leaved like my Mom used to be? My question was answered to when I tried to rescuing her. But it seems that the answer is not aimed to my question. It something different… It's another fact that will fright me. That time when I gave her the CPR…

"I realized that I love her… That's when I hate myself, hate things around me, and hate everything. Yeah, this is the cause of depression."

Silence… I was expecting him to be away, knowing that he was done and got the answer. But he didn't…

"What do you afraid of, Faker?"

"I was loved once, so it makes me a junk!! Why does she want a junk?"

"Faker, let's just say you have the surgery on. If you choose between two doctors which one will it be, the graduated doctor or the experience one?"

I raised an eyebrow, "The doctor with experience, why you asked?"

"You were that doctor." He smiled warmly, a rare occasion for someone like him (as rare as dinosaurs fossil), "You have been love once it doesn't mean that you were a junk. The right term it would be experience. I also was that doctor.

"Maria was dead, and that's when things didn't turn out that right. I blame everyone for what happen to Maria. And as you can see, I almost go to the wrong path, forgetting my promise to her…until Amy came."

Shadow chuckled again and looked up to find those memories, "Strange, how her presence did to our live. She reminds you of your mother while to me…Maria that is. Since then, every time she was lurk into danger I tried my best to keep her from harm. I won't let anything to her happened again like Maria. Amy's not her but was left my love for Maria I gave it to her. And this was result as being _experienced_."

"Um… Do you… have _something_ with her?"

He grinned evilly, "You're jealous."

"So NOT…!!"

"You're lying"

"…"

"Say it" he teased.

"No…"

"Say it…"

"Not on your life!"

"Say it or I'll go date with her."

"ALLRIGHT I AM JEALOUS!! Shez, you don't have to be so hard."

"And you're so stubborn to death. Amy was more like my little sister, nothing more for your information. And if you doubt her love she once said she still loves you even if you won't love her back."

"She… she said that?"

"GOD, you're so blind!! She doesn't even care if you lied to her."

"But no one ever do that to me…"

"Remember faker, you're experienced." He said as he stood up.

After I heard his words, I find myself how long we've talked. At first I was wondering, how did Shadow know this stuff anyway? Then again Shadow handles his past _better_ than I am. He did make mistake at first but then his wounds clear easily. That's the reason why did I hate him much.

I stand to my feet faintly, questioning what his words will mean much for my life.

"Well, thanks Shadow."

"You're welcome, faker."

"Why are you telling me this, anyway?"

Shadow was about to leave when he looked back at me once again, "You know something?"

"What?"

"I was about to kill you for hurting my sister, until I heard you have some mental issues. Heh, I'm glad that you actually have feelings for her. And yeah, I just want her to be happy. You better take her on a date sooner or later. Or I'll boost you with a bazooka!!!"

After few days of depression, I grinned. Because, there's nothing else I can do. Although he shoots a glare of me, there's a hidden laughter slipped on his mouth.

Few days later, Amy had finally feeling well. Tails claims that I had gone nuts during her unconscious. It's a good thing she didn't believe that. Things are going back to normal and so was my depression. Every hero has a twist as for my case…it's love.

As she called my name, "SONIKKU!!!!"

So I ran… But this time I didn't ran to erase my memories. And this time I didn't just ran…I smiled.

I smiled knowing that she loved me for life, smiled for her guts, smiled because something unexpected things she gave it to me. Maybe I'll turn into lovey dovey someday. Until now, we're still young and free.

Her voice calling out my name and I know that I was wanted. Shadow the hedgehog said that I was experienced. I will take care this game of love very well. Better take her on date someday. Or Shadow will shoot me with a bazooka!!

* * *

Comments:

Shadow: Yes I know he's a bit Out of character. But seeing this I need someone who's sensitive enough to handle perspective of inner self, to be specific I need melancholy person. And believe it or not Shadow's the one who fits, he did manage to handle between two sides as being neutral nor good or evil.

Sonic: Honestly he is the hardest to be written in my fan fiction history. Firstly, it's because he's a phlegmatic. Second, he's a phlegmatic. Third…PHLEGMATIC!!! But then again phlegmatics often hiding their feeling so… He's quiet interesting fellow. Making a mutual event when he throwed it out.

Amy: Nothing much, because she's in coma. But my version of Amy Rose is a bit innocent, clueless, and naïve. You should've seen my pics of her.


End file.
